Fa la la la la la la la la

I got this mini video cam free when ordering something else and I forgot all about it until today. Since I want to participate in Jules’s AL contest I thought I’d have to go out and buy me a video camera but low and behold this crappy free one will do. It’s only 3.1 megapixels and I have a crazy idea for my Outta Tune AL submission that I hope works out using this little bugger. In the meantime I tried it out on Buddy.



You see that look he gave me. Yeah, the “Seriously Mom?” look and he actually sighed a little when he turned back around. You also get a little of the stupid crazy eye he likes to do at the end there.

So if anyone wants to embarrass themselves as much as I do you need to sign up at Jules’s place. I’m in it for the free stuff as you know I love the free things. Also, I’ve secretly always wanted to be on Idol. Don’t we all? If not just for the satisfaction of flipping off Simon Cowell. So go, be crazy, sign up too.

School Woes But I'm a Winner So I'll Get Over It

I went to the placement exam this weekend and I am officially pissed off with my local educational facility. Not only did I have to wait 3 hours to take a test because they were sorely understaffed and were not prepared for the 70 students that showed up bright and early at 9a. I was misinformed about the calculator usage so I could have studied math instead of going balls to the wall in with no hope. Asshole Counselor is now on my permanent S-List. So of course, I placed in fundamental math because I’m an idiot and haven’t done algebra for 13 years now. (Is it ironic that I misspelled idiot? Word are you deliberately mocking me?)

And I just maybe could not concentrate in a room with 50 other people coughing, squirming and making general people noises to really apply myself to the sentence structure portion of the test and only scored an 86% which, get this, is only one percent lower than I needed to get into English 1A. Now I have to take a prerequisite class in order to even start my degree path.

Then when calling Asshole Counselor to ask where I placed she didn’t even remember who I was. I was just there on Friday and I’m calling you on Monday and you can’t remember who I am?

Uggh, I wash my hands of you no-good educational facility. Your minions were no help to me at all. So I started looking online and guess what I found? The most helpful person ever! Christina from New Fangled Online College (NFOC) was more than helpful. I’m already signed up for my first class and know exactly what to study for and what to do next. I’m officially a new student at NFOC. First class is Philosophy of Human Nature which Christina herself had taken and said it was interesting and very fun as an introductory course. AND it also counts towards an Associates Degree in Liberal Arts.

She totally gets me, Christina and I are the bestest of buds now. She didn’t have any qualms about calling me back three times already today AND she’s going to call me at home tonight just to make sure I don’t have anymore questions about the matriculation process. AND she waived my application fee because it’s the holiday season and she knows times are a little tight. AND that just made her the most awesomest of peeps and made me want to lick her face. AND she emailed all the info. we talked about while we were on the phone so I could later peruse it. I think I’m in love.

In other news, I may or may not have grabbed some ass and boobs while getting plastered at the Hubs’s Christmas party on Saturday. I get handsy after the 6-7^th drink. Just about the end of the evening they had the last drawing for some cool shit. It was the only reason everyone was still hanging around at midnight. Guess who won a 40” LCD HDTV? -------->This chick right here! Yeah, I’m like really high about it. It’s the only thing that didn’t make me think of the Asshole Counselor all weekend.

So there’s my recap of the weekend. I just found out today that we are furloughed for two weeks instead of just one so I’m trying to cram all my work in now so I probably won’t be posting a lot the rest of the week. On top of trying to get my X-mas shopping done and doing my online testing I’m swamped; which is good. I’m feeling all productive. Now, I just need to focus on the finishing part.

Can Someone Send Me Some Smart?

I went to the college counselor yesterday to see what I had to do to be grown uppy and she said I had to take a test. I’m the worst test taker in the world. I totally get the blankies when presented with tests. It’s a placement test too. This will justify my stupidity when I find out I have to take fundamental classes. Like math 101, what’s 2+5= aaaakkkkcchh 6? I just freak out when taking a test. And there is no use of calculators. I KNOW.

I’m freaking out just thinking of freaking out when I have to take the test. Which is this Saturday BTW. Gulp.

So she asked me what I wanted to be. I said a writer. She looked at me in awe and said (I quote) "That would be such a fun job."

"Uh yeah I guess."

"Wow a writer huh? For like the paper?"

"Ummm no. Like novels."

"Oh (insert dejected sound here)."

Umm, aren't you supposed to counsel and be all supportive and shit?!

Don't give me that patronizing oh like that's some pipe dream. You're a lousy old school counselor stuck in a back office talking to stinky children all day. Yeah, that sounds like a fun job. And then I told her I just wanted to take classes online and she got all offended and said their campus is great and they have night classes. Then I told her I almost ran 5 people off the road because it's all icy but the joy of having to navigate that shit in the dark is my dream because I'm furthering my education for the good of man kind.

I think she secretly wants me to kill people.

She kinda scared me so I cut the meeting short. And I coughed on her. She needs the swine flu more than I do. I'm sure I should have asked what to study but her leering manner made me nervous. So if anyone has some brains they'd like to let me borrow right now would be an opportune time. Otherwise I'm going to be in fundamental math learning how to do pluses and minuses.